Happy Anniversary!
by knives4cash
Summary: Team RWBY celebrates their anniversary. One year and fifty-seven installments later, hilarity still ensues.


Pop goes the party favor! "Wheeee!" I hollar directly into the air. "Party like it's hot!"

"Ack! Not in the cake!" Weiss shrieks as she desperately fans the confetti away from our simple, yet elegant nine by thirteen sheet cake.

"Oh, come on, Weiss," Ruby scoffs as she enters upon our rooftop hangout with a small stack of plates and utensils. "We've eaten dust, we could easily digest confetti," she observes with that matured sense of confidence that she began to exhibit in her twenties. I gotta say, Time has been generous to her.

To all of us, actually. Could be a coincidence, or it could be the divine will of some sappy deity who couldn't bear to see us age properly.

...Naaah. "Did you forget Blake?" I ask my dear sister as I glance towards the entrance. "Yo, Blake! Get your bellabooty out here and help us celebrate!"

"Addressing me with the terms 'yo' and 'booty' are hardly proper for a woman of your age," Blake reprimands as she emerges after Ruby with a smile, chuckle, and ever-so-subtle wink. "But I'll make an exception for today," she states as she presents us all with a handsome stack of letters and packages. "These came in. Most are from our fans, but I'm sure that at least a few of them are from our family," she observes.

"I still can't believe that we've gained so much love over the years," Weiss announces with disbelief, despite the fact that she's been out public spokesperson ever since she took control of the Schnee Industry. And come on, who could hate Weiss? What she lacks in rack she makes up for in talkin' smack, haha!

"Hey, sis," Ruby calls as she sets the small, fold out table for our impending celebration. Mmmh, nothing like having a rusted, duct taped study table on top of a multi-lien mansion with a homemade cake. "Did we remember to invite everyone to the official party later today?"

"I don't think we could've forgotten anyone," I comment as I pull Blake into a loving embrace. Sorry, sis, make out first, talk second. Mmmh, two decades later and she's still got the goods. "You're absolutely gorgeous," I whisper to her, looking her dead in those golden jewels.

Smiling, Blake pecks me on the cheek. "You're not too bad yourself, Yang," she compliments as she moves past me and to the roof's edge. "Lovely day for cake. An excellent idea, Weiss," she thanks as she overlooks the countryside.

"But of course!" Weiss agrees as she and Ruby lock hands as they sort through the letters. "Ruby, was there anyone specific you wanted to invite?"

"I think I invited everyone I wanted," she decides just as the wind comes in with a gentle, summer fashion. "Agh, today is just so great!" she laughs as she pulls Weiss into a hug. "And I get to spend it with my family!"

"I'm pretty sure family wouldn't summon a giant sea monster and get us blown to bits," Blake sarcastically observes as she rejoins us by the table, giving me a knowing grin with just the tip of her canines showing.

"I'm going to make you regret that tonight," I declare as I take my seat with Blake on my right. "No, I take that back," I correct myself. "I'm going to make you love it."

Yanking on my ponytail and deliberately undoing it, she challenges, "Wouldn't it be a shame if you lost all of your hair in a freak sniper accident? Again?"

"I have a laser pointer," I warn, grinning as her cat ears flicker back and forth, out of fear or excitement. Maybe both, hehe.

"Okay, love birds, let's keep it teen for the next few hours," Weiss requests as she takes up the knife and begins to cut. "Ruby, please, sit down," she beckons.

Sis takes her seat to my left, reaching out and caressing Weiss's jeans. "Don't get me wrong, Weiss, you look awesome in anything, but sometimes I miss your combat skirt," Ruby confesses with a sigh.

"Why?" Weiss scoffs as she hands the first piece of cake to Ruby. "It was frizzy, fluffy, and frizzled. I'm surprised I didn't start wearing pants sooner!"

"Agh, I remember the time you and Ruby fell asleep in the cuddles and whatnot!" I immediately recall with a surge of nostalgic passion the likes of which the world has never seen! "You were sooo cute, Weiss! You and Ruby just laced together, ah! It was meant to be, I tell you!"

"I agree," Blake and Ruby simultaneously agree before immediately following up with "Jinx!"

"Bravo, girls," Weiss huffs as she hands me the second piece on the plate of simple white. "Yang has managed to corrupt all of you into perverted brutes."

"You make it sound like a bad thing!" I joke as she hands Blake the third piece. "Come on!" I beg as she shakes her head at me. "Life's not worth living if you can't appreciate the sweeet, sweet eye candy!"

"I seem to recall you doing more than "appreciate" her on that one Game Night," Blake recalls with an heir of humor and lust. "Good times," she reminisces with a sigh.

"That's only because I'm a Schnee," Weiss dignifies with that Schnee pride that's never faded. "I couldn't let myself be beaten by some stupid bottle game!" she justifies, refusing to acknowledge the obvious fact that nobody can resist a piece of Yang.

"You chose well, Ruby," I whisper to my teammate. "She's no Blake, but she still kisses pretty good."

"You mean, 'kisses pretty well'," Weiss curtly corrects as she finally cuts her own piece of cake and sits down with us. "Ugh, it's like Beacon all over again. The one thing I do NOT miss is this table."

"Whaaat!" Ruby gawks at her wife with sheer shock at such a ridiculous claim. "How could you not miss our beloved table? It's been there for every meal! Every study session! Every board game! Even that one that had the seven continents and all the pieces of land that don't really exist in our world."

Hey now, I happened to like that game...

"And when we needed to divide up the week to avoid awkward walk-ins on sex, the table was there to hold your binder!" Blake recalls with an evil, EVIL grin.

Weiss turns just a bit red. "I have no idea what you're talking about," she lies. LIES! And on her anniversary no less!

Oh, wait. "Well, girls!" I begin as I stand up and raise my fork to the sky.

"We haven't been girls in two decades," Ruby grumbles, still the youngest after all.

"Hush," I command, brandishing my fork in her general direction. Returning it to the sky, I declare, "Twenty years ago to the day! The four of us jointly issued a formal proclamation of a permanent, sacred bond!"

"Really?" Weiss gasps. Looking to Blake, she facades, "I had no idea, Blake! Did you?"

Chuckling, she shakes her head and confesses with utmost sarcasm, "I did not, Weiss. I do wish I had been notified twenty years ago."

"You all suck," I observe as I attempt to continue with my epic speech of epic proportions. "Now as I was saying! The four of us got hitched twenty years ago today, and I just want to thank the three of you-" turning my gaze to Blake, I emphasize, "And especially YOU, kitty cat-" Agh, her smile! I love it more than cake! And I looove cake! "-thank you all for making my life the absolute best it could have EVER been."

"And I want to thank the three of you as well," Blake adds as she offers her hand to me. "For helping me see the brighter side of the world, however dark things might seem."

Without hesitation, I take her hand in my own and sit back down, piece finally said, no thanks to Weiss. I gotta say, for twenty years we've all held up pretty well. Sure, there's been some changes, but Time tends to do that, doesn't it?

Weiss prefers pants, I like my hair tied back, Blake lets her ears go free, and Ruby set aside her precious cape after one too many snags in combat. I suppose that last one was the result of common sense, but she REALLY likes her capes. Especially that fleece one Weiss gave her on her eighteenth. Heh, good times.

"I still have the shotgun shell," Blake says, breaking me out of my thoughts.

"What shotgun shell?" I ask, much to Ruby and Weiss's amusement.

Rolling her eyes, Blake reminds me, "The one you used to propose to me? In class?"

"Oh, THAT one!" I remember now! "You really wanted to tie the knot, kitty cat! What was I supposed to do, leave you for that monkey boy to take you?"

"I kinda like Sun!" Ruby defends with utmost honor, much to the disapproval of her wife. Kinda sitting right next to you, sis. Refusing to back down, she demands, "Whaaat? I do, Weiss! He's useless in a fight, but he's got heart!"

"And he's got no character," Weiss decides as she stands up. "Now before our cake gets stale, allow me to say a few words."

It's a good thing you have good words, Weiss. Otherwise I couldn't stand your talking. Oh, that night we had to look for Blake when she ran away? I wasn't sure if kissing her would shut her up or just get her fists to start talking, but I was almost ready to try, just out of sheer desperation!

"To you, Ruby," she begins with endearment, gazing at my sister and beholding her in all her glory and beauty. Pure admiration threatens to overwhelm her tone when she decrees, "I love you."

A blush! Ruby Schnee! Blushing! She hasn't blushed in a long time, not since the-

"And it's because of you that I can enjoy your sister and her own wife, because they'd drive me up the wall if you weren't here to hold me down," she chides with a playful glare. At least, I think it's playful. Best not to tick off a woman with a pointy sword.

"Yes, thank you, Ruby," Blake shoots back with confidence. "It's much more amusing to see her struggle."

"You two just need another tumble in the sheets," I observe with exasperation.

"Yeah," Ruby agrees. "Twenty years later, and there's still this unresolved sexual tension. It all started when Yang asked me to fetch the pokies, and it's only gotten worse ever since!" she recalls with a gleam in her eyes. I'd wager she's into it. Heck, I'm into it, and I shipped them first.

"Well my original point still stands for the three of you," Weiss concludes as she sits down. "Thank you, all of you."

"You're very welcome, Weiss," I admit without any sarcasm. No chides, no jokes, just truth for now. "You've been a great friend to me, and I can't thank you enough for making Ruby the second happiest girl on the planet."

"You've all taken the words out of my mouth," Blake says with a pleased look. "It's quite impressive, actually." Stroking my hand, she adds, "Of course I love you, Yang. Even though you've blown up kitchens, set fishing docks on fire, burned our bed down on multiple occasions-"

It's her own fault she's so good at sex!

"-and let's not forget attempting to murder me in your sleep," she finishes, MUCH to the amusement of Weiss and Ruby, who threaten to collapse in their fits of laughter. "No, despite all of that, Yang, you're the brightest part in my life." Softly laughing to herself, she decides, "If someone had told me as a kid that I'd be so happy as an adult, I wouldn't have believed them."

"You make life worth living," I inform her without hesitation. The warm sun gives her endless, black hair a shine that compliments her golden eyes so nicely.

She takes a few seconds to soak in the sun, birds chirping, wind rustling the landscape, and just gaze into my heart. Definitely the most gorgeous woman I'll ever know.

"I, of course, reciprocate," she informs me as she draws me in for a kiss. We should have anniversaries more often, I could get used to this endless sappy stuff.

"Then as leader of Team RWBY, I say that we shall now eat our cake!" Ruby announces with joy, zeal, and a little bit of starvation in her tone. "Seriously, we're having a banquet tonight, and I want these calories gone sooner rather than later," she explains with urgency as she takes Weiss's hand in her own. "My lovely wife, this cake is no doubtedly the most delicious thing that the universe will ever know," she confidently proclaims.

"Here, here!" I chant! "To Weiss, our favorite cake chef lady!"

"Yes, to Weiss," Blake agrees, raising her fork in a mockery emulation. "May good fortune remain at your side.

Alrighty then, let's have ourselves a big hunk of chocolate ca-

THAT IS SALT. THAT IS SALT. THAT IS SALT.

Blake drops her fork and starts clawing at her tongue. Heightened senses probably make all faunus do that kinda thing when someone uses MULTIPLE CUPS OF SALT. "Weiss," I manage to croak amidst the pure, unrelenting agony of the salt. "Saaalt," I horsely whisper. This is how I die! On my anniversary! Poisoned by my sister in law! "Saaaalt! Not sugar!"

"Weiiis," Ruby sputters, whispers, and stutters as she clutches her throat, clawing for precious, precious oxygen. "I thought you loved me, Weiss. Why are you killing me, Weiss?" she wonders with her dying breath as she falls from her chair, sprawling her limp corpse across the warm tiles of the Schnee Estate.

"I promise to not bake anything anymore if you will shut up," Weiss gags as she throws her fork into the cake pan, surrendering all hope of salvaging her precious hours of labor. "Sweet lord," she mutters in disgrace.

"Still doesn't feel as bad as getting hit in the face with a snowball," Blake remarked with a grand attempt at smiling, ultimately failing and succumbing to the salt once again. "I need water!" she manages to croak.

"I agree!" Oh, how I so agree. "Ladies, to the kitchen!" I declare as I leap from my chair. "Quickly, before the salt dries up our cereal continuity!"

"You haven't grown a single day, you big blonde brute!" Weiss hacks as she staggers ahead of me. "Ruby, come!"

"Later, when we're alone," Ruby informs her as she leaps onto my back.

"Hah! I haven't given you a piggyback ride in years!" Ah, what a time to be alive. "C'mon, Blake! Let's see if we can survive another twenty."

I hear her chuckle. "Right behind you, Yang. Always."

Heh, never a dull moment with the family. I have come a long, looong way, and with a little luck: these three fine, still young women will help me keep going.

But seriously though, that salt is killing my throat. Confound it, Weiss!

* * *

**A/N: **On the 13th of October, in 2013, I uploaded part one of this series, not my first work of literature, but the first for the RWBY fandom. Thank you to all who have made this a wonderful experience. I may not be the best writer, I may not be the most famous, I may not even be the most liked, but I think it's safe to say that I've had the most fun.


End file.
